This is the first post of February! Isn't that exciting.
I hadn't made an update in a while, but for good reason-- I'm either extremely busy or incurably lazy. I'd like to think that I'm busy but I do spend my little bits of free time liking photos myself on Facebook. I've been spending two days a week at my internship and learning the representation side of the entertainment industry. Really fast-paced and sort of intimidating, but I think that I could really excel at it.
Tuesday is my UCB improv101 class. Absolutely an amazing experience. Something that I think is really cool about the improv game is that it gets me out of my head. I'm just doing things. And it turns out that sometimes those things are really funny. I've been beginning to realize that there are two different sides of Tony. When I'm comfortable, I shine. I'm on my A-game and making things happen.
When I'm out of my comfort zone, I clam up and get nervous. Which is, I think, normal.
But I need to expand that comfort zone, and I think the only way to do it is to spend more time in the situations that make me uncomfortable.
He said, blogging from his bedroom.
Womp womp.
But really, It's something I've recognized and am working on improving.
Goals for 2012:
-Get a full-time career job thing. You know, one in the entertainment industry that pays my bills. I think that's a great first step.
-Get comfortable. Really comfortable. Anywhere. I've got to be more relaxed to just be me. I'm not the obnoxious kid from high school and I don't have to be silent to be accepted. I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. Gosh darnit, people like me.
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Metaphysics of Demons
Demons have been classically aligned with the supernatural. They are hellspawn from another plane, attempting to possess us and control our actions in the real world. But what has gone for too long unrealized is that they are actually a metaphor. They're not really supernatural multi-planar beings, but rather elements of the real that inhabit our personalities. They are the elements of us that we hate the most because they have a tendency to rise up against us in our moments of weakness.
Demons can pervade our lives in many forms. Anger, greed, addiction, etc. They are personal aspects of self that can take the reigns of our lives whenever we let them. This is why so often, in twelve step programs, we are required to give our power up to a higher being than our self. Because demons can control us, but if we are forced to appeal to a higher power then perhaps that power can grant us strength against them.
I'm a smoker. It's a terrible habit and has been since I started it. It's disgusting and I'm personally repulsed by it. But in my moments of intoxicated weakness, I find myself desiring to light up. There's no stopping that want. It will always be there. The desire is a biological ramification of addiction to the drug nicotine. Experts say that addiction rewires the brain, forcing it to rely on that chemical to achieve satisfaction.
So if there is nothing that I can personally do to overcome that addictive force, then how can I banish it, so to speak? An appeal to a higher power is required. But to accept a supernatural higher power to counter a non-supernatural force seems whimsical to me. As though I'm but playing pretend to conquer something very real.
A good friend of mine is involved in a twelve step program and has maintained her position as an atheist. My friend's higher power is peace. My friend appeals to peace, not only on a global level but on a personal level to achieve power over the demons that plague.
My point is not so much the methodologies of a twelve step program, but rather the nature of demons. They aren't horned beasts from other dimensions hellbent on destroying our existence. Rather, demons are aspects of the real, parts of our lives, that have the ability to possess us and control us. They whisper in our ear when we are weak and define the logic by which we must abide.
It is by this understanding of demonology that we come to terms with the idea of the devil. If the devil is the source of all evil and the spawn of all demons then he too is an aspect of the self, within us all and capable of terrible things. It is up to us to master those elements of ourselves whether they are greed, sadism, lust, or wrath.
It is up to us to find the peace of self that leads us not into the reigns of our demons, but lets us work towards a greater sense of well-being with the world.
Demons can pervade our lives in many forms. Anger, greed, addiction, etc. They are personal aspects of self that can take the reigns of our lives whenever we let them. This is why so often, in twelve step programs, we are required to give our power up to a higher being than our self. Because demons can control us, but if we are forced to appeal to a higher power then perhaps that power can grant us strength against them.
I'm a smoker. It's a terrible habit and has been since I started it. It's disgusting and I'm personally repulsed by it. But in my moments of intoxicated weakness, I find myself desiring to light up. There's no stopping that want. It will always be there. The desire is a biological ramification of addiction to the drug nicotine. Experts say that addiction rewires the brain, forcing it to rely on that chemical to achieve satisfaction.
So if there is nothing that I can personally do to overcome that addictive force, then how can I banish it, so to speak? An appeal to a higher power is required. But to accept a supernatural higher power to counter a non-supernatural force seems whimsical to me. As though I'm but playing pretend to conquer something very real.
A good friend of mine is involved in a twelve step program and has maintained her position as an atheist. My friend's higher power is peace. My friend appeals to peace, not only on a global level but on a personal level to achieve power over the demons that plague.
My point is not so much the methodologies of a twelve step program, but rather the nature of demons. They aren't horned beasts from other dimensions hellbent on destroying our existence. Rather, demons are aspects of the real, parts of our lives, that have the ability to possess us and control us. They whisper in our ear when we are weak and define the logic by which we must abide.
It is by this understanding of demonology that we come to terms with the idea of the devil. If the devil is the source of all evil and the spawn of all demons then he too is an aspect of the self, within us all and capable of terrible things. It is up to us to master those elements of ourselves whether they are greed, sadism, lust, or wrath.
It is up to us to find the peace of self that leads us not into the reigns of our demons, but lets us work towards a greater sense of well-being with the world.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
I've been in LA for almost a month now. So far I've seen three "celebrities." My first encounter was on my third day. I went to see the a show hosted by Jimmy Pardo at UCB theater. Pardo does warm up for Conan. In the audience that night was Labamba. It was a huge moment for me. That was Labamba. Labamba sat a few feet from me for a show. My mind was blown.
The next encounter was seeing Eugene Mirman while driving. He was walking with some lady. He was wearing a t-shirt and looked like any other schlub on the street.
Today, Zach Woods came to the store I work at. I saw him for about a second and a half.
Oh, he plays Gabe on The Office. I'm starting to realize that my definition of celebrity may be a little loose.
I was taking a stack of empty boxes to the baler and I heard a voice I'd heard before. It was weird. I recognized it, but not immediately. I turned my head and I saw him talking to someone else.
The dude is tall. Really tall.
I realized who he was. Then I baled some cardboard. But I've been thinking about it for the rest of the day. I'm still adjusting to the fact that actors on television are also people in real life. That's when I realized that I divide reality and television. And I think that's probably a healthy response.
But there is a reality that exists in television. It is a world that is entirely distant from my own. It doesn't exist within the real world that I experience. But elements of it are real. Zach Woods is a person and he bought some orange juice today.
It's still weird to see people that you see on television in your own world. There he is, existing in my life. This is my world, but there he is, from another fucking, planet buying juice.
The next encounter was seeing Eugene Mirman while driving. He was walking with some lady. He was wearing a t-shirt and looked like any other schlub on the street.
Today, Zach Woods came to the store I work at. I saw him for about a second and a half.
Oh, he plays Gabe on The Office. I'm starting to realize that my definition of celebrity may be a little loose.
I was taking a stack of empty boxes to the baler and I heard a voice I'd heard before. It was weird. I recognized it, but not immediately. I turned my head and I saw him talking to someone else.
The dude is tall. Really tall.
I realized who he was. Then I baled some cardboard. But I've been thinking about it for the rest of the day. I'm still adjusting to the fact that actors on television are also people in real life. That's when I realized that I divide reality and television. And I think that's probably a healthy response.
But there is a reality that exists in television. It is a world that is entirely distant from my own. It doesn't exist within the real world that I experience. But elements of it are real. Zach Woods is a person and he bought some orange juice today.
It's still weird to see people that you see on television in your own world. There he is, existing in my life. This is my world, but there he is, from another fucking, planet buying juice.
Friday, January 13, 2012
Just do something new.
While talking to a good friend of mine, we came to the subject of ham and brie sandwiches. It's not an uncommon topic, given my propensity towards eating ham, brie, and sandwiches. Subsequently, we were also discussing how we would both love to lose some weight.
For the record, she's gorgeous and looks amazing the way she does.
I'm a hot mess of man that needs to drop 15 pounds just to get back to where I was 4 months ago and those nachos bell grande aren't helping.
After I assured her she looked great, which she does, she made an observation that blew my mind. It was completely obvious but I'd never recognized it. It was one of those hidden in plain sight deals. You know what she pointed out to me?
She knows what a ham and brie sandwich tastes like.
And then I realized: I know what it tastes like, too.
Why keep eating something again and again when you know what it tastes like? Sure, there is the satisfaction of getting exactly what you expected. But isn't the satisfaction of trying something new, and exploring something else even more rewarding?
Now, all of this seemed much more mind blowing when I was wasted. But I think that it's still pretty good. Branch out. Try new things. Don't stay comfortable. Do something new.
Do something new.
For the record, she's gorgeous and looks amazing the way she does.
I'm a hot mess of man that needs to drop 15 pounds just to get back to where I was 4 months ago and those nachos bell grande aren't helping.
After I assured her she looked great, which she does, she made an observation that blew my mind. It was completely obvious but I'd never recognized it. It was one of those hidden in plain sight deals. You know what she pointed out to me?
She knows what a ham and brie sandwich tastes like.
And then I realized: I know what it tastes like, too.
Why keep eating something again and again when you know what it tastes like? Sure, there is the satisfaction of getting exactly what you expected. But isn't the satisfaction of trying something new, and exploring something else even more rewarding?
Now, all of this seemed much more mind blowing when I was wasted. But I think that it's still pretty good. Branch out. Try new things. Don't stay comfortable. Do something new.
Do something new.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Multi-Pronged Assault
It's been a full month since I've posted to this blog and my, how shit has changed.
1) I finished my classes. After my trip to LA earlier in the semester I became a supercharged dynamo aimed to destroy any assignment in my path. So I did. I passed them and applied for graduation.
2) I found a Trader Joe's in LA that would accept my transfer application. I now work at the Hollywood Trader Joe's on Vine. It's phenomenal and the crew seem like a good bunch of folks, but I still miss all of my friends at the Coleman store in San Jose. 212, I <3 you.
3) I packed up my entire life into a 16' Budget truck and drove it almost 400 miles to LA. The drive was phenomenal. I stopped at Harris Ranch with my dad and ate a steak the size of my head.
4) I signed up for improv101 at the Upright Citizen's Brigade Training Center.
5) I Interviewed for and landed an internship at Zero Gravity Management in Santa Monica.
Each of these things is absolutely vital for my multi-pronged assault of the film industry. My internship will teach me how the industry works and put me in contact with people in the representation field. My UCB class will get me in contact with other comedians and actors. Again networking but also a chance to demonstrate my comedic chops and work my way through the UCB ranks. I'm continuing to work on my feature screenplays and enter screenwriting competitions.
Oh, and I'm working on a blog that will give me web exposure. So that's a thing.
Here I am, LA. Let's fucking do this.
1) I finished my classes. After my trip to LA earlier in the semester I became a supercharged dynamo aimed to destroy any assignment in my path. So I did. I passed them and applied for graduation.
2) I found a Trader Joe's in LA that would accept my transfer application. I now work at the Hollywood Trader Joe's on Vine. It's phenomenal and the crew seem like a good bunch of folks, but I still miss all of my friends at the Coleman store in San Jose. 212, I <3 you.
3) I packed up my entire life into a 16' Budget truck and drove it almost 400 miles to LA. The drive was phenomenal. I stopped at Harris Ranch with my dad and ate a steak the size of my head.
4) I signed up for improv101 at the Upright Citizen's Brigade Training Center.
5) I Interviewed for and landed an internship at Zero Gravity Management in Santa Monica.
Each of these things is absolutely vital for my multi-pronged assault of the film industry. My internship will teach me how the industry works and put me in contact with people in the representation field. My UCB class will get me in contact with other comedians and actors. Again networking but also a chance to demonstrate my comedic chops and work my way through the UCB ranks. I'm continuing to work on my feature screenplays and enter screenwriting competitions.
Oh, and I'm working on a blog that will give me web exposure. So that's a thing.
Here I am, LA. Let's fucking do this.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Lapses of Posting, Finals, and an official response to John August's Blog Post regarding music education
As I'm sure you've noticed, It's been a few weeks since I've updated. My life has been somewhat chaotic and full of promising terror. At the end of this month I'll be moving to LA. I'm transferring with my current company to a similar position down there and moving in with some friends in the Los Feliz area. Very exciting.
And it just means that in addition to finishing out my last semester at San Jose State, I also have the responsibilities of making sure my work transfer goes through, mailing checks to my future room mates, canceling my internet, finding the best deals on moving trucks, packing, and giving my landlord a thirty-day notice. Did I remember to cancel the PG&E?
Anyway, I wanted to apologize (because I know you wait with bated breath for every one of my updates) and reassure you. No, you are not forgotten. Yes, I will be continuing to update this blog. Yes, I am mostly saying that for my own benefit.
The other thing I wanted to address here is a blog post that John August made on Saturday regarding the music education of the country's children. John (I feel like that's kinda informal, but we're in my living room now) made an update more or less claiming that rather than teach kids the instruments of a traditional symphonic band, we should just have them learn piano and guitar.
I totally follow his logic. I played music all through high school and even went to a summer band-camp that I continue to be a counselor at every summer. I'm 24 and that is in no way weird. I realized one thing about the kids that tended to sit first trumpet or first clarinet. For the most part, they played piano as well. It's clear that there is a correlation between children that play piano in addition to their symphonic instrument and their success as music students. Piano is an incredibly visual instrument that makes for an intuitive association between the written music and the way it is played. I really wish I had started playing on piano, but I wanted to be like Lisa Simpson so I just went straight to the saxomaphone.
However, as he points out, the sound of twenty-four pianos being played together in a concert isn't something to behold. It is in this vein that I maintain that the traditional symphonic band must be maintained in schools. That the instruments that have always been taught ought to continue to be taught. Because playing in a symphonic band brings in entire new dynamics to the performance of music. There is a dialogue that takes place between conductor and musician as well as amongst the musicians themselves. They listen to each other and respond. They communicate cues and indicate, in a very dynamic way, the direction of the ensemble. It is a very different experience from playing piano or guitar alone.
It doesn't matter if you're five or fifty with thirty years of piano playing, the first time you play the violin it's gonna squeak and sound terrible. At least when you're five you're just happy that you're playing an instrument. So here's what I'd suggest. If your child shows an interest in playing music get them a piano or a guitar and some lessons. But also let them enroll in their schools music program and play trombone, clarinet, or violin. They'll gain all the benefit of an education in piano or guitar, as well as the invaluable experience of playing in an ensemble.
Alright, back to studying. Three final exams and a 6 page paper left until freedom.
And it just means that in addition to finishing out my last semester at San Jose State, I also have the responsibilities of making sure my work transfer goes through, mailing checks to my future room mates, canceling my internet, finding the best deals on moving trucks, packing, and giving my landlord a thirty-day notice. Did I remember to cancel the PG&E?
Anyway, I wanted to apologize (because I know you wait with bated breath for every one of my updates) and reassure you. No, you are not forgotten. Yes, I will be continuing to update this blog. Yes, I am mostly saying that for my own benefit.
The other thing I wanted to address here is a blog post that John August made on Saturday regarding the music education of the country's children. John (I feel like that's kinda informal, but we're in my living room now) made an update more or less claiming that rather than teach kids the instruments of a traditional symphonic band, we should just have them learn piano and guitar.
I totally follow his logic. I played music all through high school and even went to a summer band-camp that I continue to be a counselor at every summer. I'm 24 and that is in no way weird. I realized one thing about the kids that tended to sit first trumpet or first clarinet. For the most part, they played piano as well. It's clear that there is a correlation between children that play piano in addition to their symphonic instrument and their success as music students. Piano is an incredibly visual instrument that makes for an intuitive association between the written music and the way it is played. I really wish I had started playing on piano, but I wanted to be like Lisa Simpson so I just went straight to the saxomaphone.
However, as he points out, the sound of twenty-four pianos being played together in a concert isn't something to behold. It is in this vein that I maintain that the traditional symphonic band must be maintained in schools. That the instruments that have always been taught ought to continue to be taught. Because playing in a symphonic band brings in entire new dynamics to the performance of music. There is a dialogue that takes place between conductor and musician as well as amongst the musicians themselves. They listen to each other and respond. They communicate cues and indicate, in a very dynamic way, the direction of the ensemble. It is a very different experience from playing piano or guitar alone.
It doesn't matter if you're five or fifty with thirty years of piano playing, the first time you play the violin it's gonna squeak and sound terrible. At least when you're five you're just happy that you're playing an instrument. So here's what I'd suggest. If your child shows an interest in playing music get them a piano or a guitar and some lessons. But also let them enroll in their schools music program and play trombone, clarinet, or violin. They'll gain all the benefit of an education in piano or guitar, as well as the invaluable experience of playing in an ensemble.
Alright, back to studying. Three final exams and a 6 page paper left until freedom.
Friday, November 25, 2011
Format Solutions and Fairy Tales
After some serious thought, and a good night's rest, I think I've figured out how to post segments of screenplay onto the blog while retaining the format.
I use Celtx at the moment to do my screenwriting, which is a wonderful and free alternative to Final Draft and is available for download here: CeltX. Anyway, it doesn't come with all the bells and whistles that Final Draft undoubtedly promises, but it does let you export your script as an HTML file. I'm hoping that I can update the blog in the view html and copy+paste the source from the saved HTML script file onto the blog.
I think it worked. After the jump is an original short I wrote two months ago called "Goldilox" It's a modern twist on the old fairy tale. Hope you enjoy.
Well, for some reason, I can't seem to get it to retain the formatting defined by the HTML and it kinda ruins it. Dialogue lines run long and Character Headers aren't capitalized, but are slammed against the left margin and look terrible. It's a problem.
Update: I've figured out the whole issue. Turns out, I wasn't putting enough room between the Jump Break HTML and the HTML of the script segment. So now, without further adieu, I present Goldilox:
I use Celtx at the moment to do my screenwriting, which is a wonderful and free alternative to Final Draft and is available for download here: CeltX. Anyway, it doesn't come with all the bells and whistles that Final Draft undoubtedly promises, but it does let you export your script as an HTML file. I'm hoping that I can update the blog in the view html and copy+paste the source from the saved HTML script file onto the blog.
I think it worked. After the jump is an original short I wrote two months ago called "Goldilox" It's a modern twist on the old fairy tale. Hope you enjoy.
Well, for some reason, I can't seem to get it to retain the formatting defined by the HTML and it kinda ruins it. Dialogue lines run long and Character Headers aren't capitalized, but are slammed against the left margin and look terrible. It's a problem.
Update: I've figured out the whole issue. Turns out, I wasn't putting enough room between the Jump Break HTML and the HTML of the script segment. So now, without further adieu, I present Goldilox:
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